I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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