hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize