So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize