Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize