if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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