Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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