you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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