She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize