The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize