i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
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whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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