I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize