It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize