just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize