I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize