she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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