Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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