Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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