And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just want nice things and good sex
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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