We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
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Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
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I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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