I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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