I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize