One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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