Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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