I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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