Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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