You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
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I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
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Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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