sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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