i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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