I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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