I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize