woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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