You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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