Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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