woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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