He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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