It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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