yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
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I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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