we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
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We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
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woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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