4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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