I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
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I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
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I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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