I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize