Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I know her cup size but not her name....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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