I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
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Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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