Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
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She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
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You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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