I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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