were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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