The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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