You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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