Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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