Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize