if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize