Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
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I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
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I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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